Taking Time Out for Me

In the late 90’s I was a photojournalist for one newspaper and a columnist for another. I had three young boys at home under 13 years of age, my father living with us and my husband – not to mention the duties of enjoying a hobby farm. Except for chatting on the Internet, I put my wants and needs on a back burner for my family. As a result, after time I felt resentful, angry and negative. I was on the verge of another depression and having overcome one a few years earlier, I had NO intention of going through that hell again.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I heard my mother’s words of wisdom and recalled her method of coping with marital and parental stress – take a vacation alone. Mom would go off with her mother and sister for weekend religious retreat every year. When I asked her why, she said she wanted to make sure dad would be able to take care of us should something ever happen to her. I know better now.

I was about 34 years old when I finally gave in to the nagging sensation to take a private vacation and planned it around my family’s “boy’s club” event. Saving my money, I rented a hotel room in Winnipeg for a weekend. As the time drew near, I became more excited at the prospect of being alone.

“I raised eleven children and didn’t take a vacation,” my mother-in-law stated when my proposal was brought up at a family gathering. “And I had a set of twins!”

Though I know her words weren’t meant to be judgemental, they stung all the same. I’d always felt like an “out law” instead of an “in law” with my husband’s family. (In many ways, I still do today.) However, though my idea went against the “norm,” I held fast to my convictions and checked into the hotel in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Knowing my family was involved in activities they enjoyed gave me the freedom to look after myself. I spent the first night resting and writing. I’d sit on my balcony overlooking Portage Avenue and just let the words flow. (I could have used a lap top back then!) I ate when I felt like it, slept when I felt like it. When I went shopping it was for gifties to bring back to my family – who were never far from my mind.

I returned home that weekend feeling better than I had in years. I’d gotten in touch with someone very important in my life – me. From that moment on, I took yearly vacations away from home because I realized how beneficial they were. The next year I went to the States with my cousins, the following year I went to Owego, New York to visit with friends I’d met on the Internet.

Today, my travels aren’t as far, but they are more regular. Whenever I feel the need to take a break, I hide myself away in Winnipeg for a few hours. There is nothing wrong with taking time out for yourself. It isn’t selfish and doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Taking a reality break now and then recharges your system and is relaxing so you are better able to cope with stress and assist the ones you love.

Peace