Every now and then life gives you a curve ball as a way of getting your attention. As I sat in the hospital cafeteria waiting for my father to return once again from the x-ray department, I realized the “curve ball” definition definitely applied to the current situation.
Dad was involved in a motor vehicle accident on a Sunday morning as he returned home from visiting with my brother and his family in the city. It’s been said most accidents take place close to home. True to form, dad’s collision occurred less than five minutes from our place.
We were sleeping when the phone rang. It was my father telling us he’d been in an accident and he thought his leg was broken. While the initial news sent an adrenalin rush of fear through my system, I found a modicum of comfort in the knowledge it was Dad who made the call. He was alive and lucid – both EXCELLENT factors.
The rescue team was on the scene and went to work quickly. One group worked on removing the occupant of the other vehicle while the remainder discussed ways to get dad out. In the end, they decided to cut off the back passenger door, recline his seat and slide him out. It worked wonderfully and soon Dad was on his way to the hospital.
“I’ve never been in an accident and I’ve never broken a bone in my body,” Dad once stated. Being nearly 71 years old, that’s not a bad record – but it’s over now!
Hospitals are notorious for making you play the “waiting game.” Though it’s understandable because there are so many patients to look after, when it’s one of your loved ones in pain, the wait is interminable and patience runs thin.
Nearly ten hours after the accident, Dad was admitted to a bed on the trauma ward. With his right leg in a brace to immobilize it, and the hard plastic neck brace he’d worn from the scene finally changed to a softer, foam version, he looked more at ease than he had in hours.
It seemed as though a lifetime had passed since we received his call about the accident. The realization that life can change in a blink of an eye was foremost in my mind on the ride home. Scenarios of “what could have been” danced in my head and I considered the day to be a huge blessing. Dad only suffered a broken femur on his right leg, some scratches and bruised ribs on his right side from the pressure of lying awkwardly against the console while fire fighters extracted him from the car. He was very lucky.
While it’s easy to point the finger of blame, I’m a firm believer in the concept of everything happening for a reason. Though I’m not sure what the reason would be in this case, I have faith there is one. The fact that the other vehicle involved was the ONLY vehicle dad met on his way home accounts for some kind of sign in my books.
It’s too bad that it sometimes takes a curve ball such as an accident to make you fully appreciate the gift of having others in your life.
Peace
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
My Love/Hate Relationship With Technology
Love/Hate Relationship with Technology
I have a love/hate relationship with technology and I know I’m not the only one. It’s one of life’s little paradoxes. We get things to make our lives easier, however, they cause so much stress that it makes our lives hell!
Computers
My writing career began pretty much as soon as I could form words and sentences. However, I truly embraced my passion in 1994 at the age of thirty-one. I’d wanted a computer for years, but didn’t have the money to purchase one. Instead, I managed to save up for a word processor. Though it had disk saving capabilities, it only had a one inch screen which made reading what I’d written a pain in the ass. But it was mine and I loved it.
I immediately started writing a book which had been waiting patiently to free itself from my mind. I can’t remember how many pages I’d written, or how many hours I spent tweaking the book, but one day as I went to save, catastrophe hit! Instead of noting the “save” prompt, I accidentally hit the “delete” button. I sat in silence with my mouth gaping as I watched and realized with horror that all my hard work was disappearing before my eyes! (It didn’t occur to me to unplug the stupid machine!)
That was my first induction into the world of technological mishaps . . . but it didn’t end there. After that episode, I was adamant about getting a computer and was thrilled when I brought it home. It was the WORST piece of machinery I’ve ever known! The company we purchased it from must have seen the words “not too bright” emblazoned on our foreheads. We walked out of there with a three-year lease and an order for a machine that begged to have a baseball bat taken to it!
Four other computers and two laptops followed that first home computer. What can I say? Some people collecting stamps!
Cellular Phones
Similar to the desire to have a computer, I had an intense wish to have my own cell phone. The initial intention was so that I could remain in contact with my family when I was out on the road doing stories. By then, I had taken a job as a photojournalist.
My first cell phone was a clunky hard plastic flip closed phone. Compared to the one I have now it was HUGE! The problem, however, was not so much with the phone itself, but with the general service. There weren’t enough “towers” to adequately send and receive signals. Therefore I frequently found myself out of range – which defeated the purpose of having the phone in the first place!
As with everything, technology progressed forward and soon better phones came on the market to appease the public’s growing appetite and demand. But, nothing is perfect. Though there has been improvement in the size of service areas – there are still points where a signal is dropped. Oh to be able to communicate telepathically and bypass technology!
The Internet
Several months after I brought my first computer home, I decided it would be a wise investment to connect to the information highway. My husband wasn’t too pleased but I suggested it would more convenient to make my writing deadlines because I wouldn’t have to leave the house. My surfing led me to Yahoo and their array of chat rooms where I became a regular visitor. The addiction that followed lasted about four years. I met several individuals, some of whom I still contact and even met with in real life. However, I moved on and left the chatting world behind. I prefer a connection of email or blogging these days.
Technological advancement has always been a matter of pros and cons. Though created with good intentions, their natural polarity towards destruction, mayhem and stress sometimes outweigh the benefits.
What’s the answer? Technology cannot be thwarted, it will continue long after we’re all on another realm of consciousness. Basically, it boils down to a matter of choice and the best choice would be to take a break. Get away and attempt to return to a simpler, less stressful time. While it’s good to be connected to the world, it’s also a good thing to disconnect yourself now and then so you can appreciate other aspects of life. On that note . . . please leave a number and I’ll get back to you after my break. ;)
Peace
I have a love/hate relationship with technology and I know I’m not the only one. It’s one of life’s little paradoxes. We get things to make our lives easier, however, they cause so much stress that it makes our lives hell!
Computers
My writing career began pretty much as soon as I could form words and sentences. However, I truly embraced my passion in 1994 at the age of thirty-one. I’d wanted a computer for years, but didn’t have the money to purchase one. Instead, I managed to save up for a word processor. Though it had disk saving capabilities, it only had a one inch screen which made reading what I’d written a pain in the ass. But it was mine and I loved it.
I immediately started writing a book which had been waiting patiently to free itself from my mind. I can’t remember how many pages I’d written, or how many hours I spent tweaking the book, but one day as I went to save, catastrophe hit! Instead of noting the “save” prompt, I accidentally hit the “delete” button. I sat in silence with my mouth gaping as I watched and realized with horror that all my hard work was disappearing before my eyes! (It didn’t occur to me to unplug the stupid machine!)
That was my first induction into the world of technological mishaps . . . but it didn’t end there. After that episode, I was adamant about getting a computer and was thrilled when I brought it home. It was the WORST piece of machinery I’ve ever known! The company we purchased it from must have seen the words “not too bright” emblazoned on our foreheads. We walked out of there with a three-year lease and an order for a machine that begged to have a baseball bat taken to it!
Four other computers and two laptops followed that first home computer. What can I say? Some people collecting stamps!
Cellular Phones
Similar to the desire to have a computer, I had an intense wish to have my own cell phone. The initial intention was so that I could remain in contact with my family when I was out on the road doing stories. By then, I had taken a job as a photojournalist.
My first cell phone was a clunky hard plastic flip closed phone. Compared to the one I have now it was HUGE! The problem, however, was not so much with the phone itself, but with the general service. There weren’t enough “towers” to adequately send and receive signals. Therefore I frequently found myself out of range – which defeated the purpose of having the phone in the first place!
As with everything, technology progressed forward and soon better phones came on the market to appease the public’s growing appetite and demand. But, nothing is perfect. Though there has been improvement in the size of service areas – there are still points where a signal is dropped. Oh to be able to communicate telepathically and bypass technology!
The Internet
Several months after I brought my first computer home, I decided it would be a wise investment to connect to the information highway. My husband wasn’t too pleased but I suggested it would more convenient to make my writing deadlines because I wouldn’t have to leave the house. My surfing led me to Yahoo and their array of chat rooms where I became a regular visitor. The addiction that followed lasted about four years. I met several individuals, some of whom I still contact and even met with in real life. However, I moved on and left the chatting world behind. I prefer a connection of email or blogging these days.
Technological advancement has always been a matter of pros and cons. Though created with good intentions, their natural polarity towards destruction, mayhem and stress sometimes outweigh the benefits.
What’s the answer? Technology cannot be thwarted, it will continue long after we’re all on another realm of consciousness. Basically, it boils down to a matter of choice and the best choice would be to take a break. Get away and attempt to return to a simpler, less stressful time. While it’s good to be connected to the world, it’s also a good thing to disconnect yourself now and then so you can appreciate other aspects of life. On that note . . . please leave a number and I’ll get back to you after my break. ;)
Peace
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Marriage Mystery
“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” Mae West
As I said in the “About Me” section, I’ve been married to the same man for nearly 24 years. Which is, as far as I’m concerned, nothing short of amazing!
Why do some marriages last and others don’t? I’d always heard if you look at your prospective partner’s parent’s marriage, you can get a glimpse of the future. This meant if the parents were divorced, you would probably end up divorced as well.
However, I’ve known of marriages that end and the parents on both sides have lasted “till death do us part.”
Looking back at my grandparents and parents marriages (sixty and thirty years respectively), I can see the differences between theirs and mine. I don’t recall either of them being lovingly demonstrative towards one another. I never saw my grandparents kiss or hold hands or utter terms of endearment to each other.
In contrast, my parents always kissed each other goodbye (never hello). I recall my mother telling me after I questioned why my dad received two kisses and my brother and I only received one each, “To remind him that he’s special.” In spite of this, it seems as though both marriages maintained a commitment without really becoming intimate.
My husband and I usually kiss hello, goodbye and goodnight. We still hold hands and say nice things to one another now and then. In fact, my heart will flutter when he comes home or we see each other after being apart. But, the bottom line is, we like one another. While I love him ALL the time, there are times when I don’t particularly like him and that’s okay because I KNOW there are times when I’m not his most favourite person in the world either.
Our life together hasn’t been a bed of roses. We’ve had trying times and considered throwing in the towel a couple of times. But, for whatever reason we hung in there. My grandma used to say, “Marriage is like the weather, sometimes you’ll have storms and clouds, but if you wait a little while, the sun will come out and shine again.”
At one time, I shared the points of view of my grandparents and parents in that it was “normal and necessary” to get married. In hindsight, I’ve no doubt this line of thinking was a direct result of their religious beliefs. It was simple, you met someone, dated, got engaged, married, THEN had sex, eventually had kids, raised your family and died. Badaboom, badabing.
There was to be no deviation from this plan. This is how it was supposed to be. Years ago it was a shame to get divorced and longstanding marriages were the “norm.” Today this trend is reversed except divorce has lost it’s stigma of failure.
At one time, I stated to my boys (as I’d heard all my life) they’d have to marry “a nice Catholic girl,” and teach their children our religion. When my husband and I were starting to get “serious,” religion was one of the first questions we asked.
“What religion are you?” We both breathed a sigh of relief when ours matched.
Happily, I’ve stopped saying that a long time ago. I don’t expect my children to get married if they don’t want to. Making a commitment should involve desire and heart between the individuals involved.
I think part of the reason behind separation and divorce stems from our ego’s lack of patience. Rather than waiting out a storm, forgiving or seeking out the assistance of a professional – it’s easier to call it quits and start over with someone new. Personally, I question why I’d leave my life to begin again with someone else only to find myself in the same situation later. We enjoy those “new” feelings of elation at the start of a relationship, but those are only hormonal rushes which will inevitably wear off leaving you feeling dissatisfied once more.
As I said, I once shared the beliefs of my foremothers. I’m not sure when it changed, but somewhere along the lines I realized there were other options. (I’m becoming more unconventional as I age.) I’m not against marriage, I’m against having it and anything else being forced upon us. I’m against a mindless, lemming mentality in which we follow without question.
Now, having said all this, doesn’t change a thing in my life. I’m happy and comfortable. For us, what works is growing together and yet still having the freedom to dance to the beat of our own drums.
Peace
As I said in the “About Me” section, I’ve been married to the same man for nearly 24 years. Which is, as far as I’m concerned, nothing short of amazing!
Why do some marriages last and others don’t? I’d always heard if you look at your prospective partner’s parent’s marriage, you can get a glimpse of the future. This meant if the parents were divorced, you would probably end up divorced as well.
However, I’ve known of marriages that end and the parents on both sides have lasted “till death do us part.”
Looking back at my grandparents and parents marriages (sixty and thirty years respectively), I can see the differences between theirs and mine. I don’t recall either of them being lovingly demonstrative towards one another. I never saw my grandparents kiss or hold hands or utter terms of endearment to each other.
In contrast, my parents always kissed each other goodbye (never hello). I recall my mother telling me after I questioned why my dad received two kisses and my brother and I only received one each, “To remind him that he’s special.” In spite of this, it seems as though both marriages maintained a commitment without really becoming intimate.
My husband and I usually kiss hello, goodbye and goodnight. We still hold hands and say nice things to one another now and then. In fact, my heart will flutter when he comes home or we see each other after being apart. But, the bottom line is, we like one another. While I love him ALL the time, there are times when I don’t particularly like him and that’s okay because I KNOW there are times when I’m not his most favourite person in the world either.
Our life together hasn’t been a bed of roses. We’ve had trying times and considered throwing in the towel a couple of times. But, for whatever reason we hung in there. My grandma used to say, “Marriage is like the weather, sometimes you’ll have storms and clouds, but if you wait a little while, the sun will come out and shine again.”
At one time, I shared the points of view of my grandparents and parents in that it was “normal and necessary” to get married. In hindsight, I’ve no doubt this line of thinking was a direct result of their religious beliefs. It was simple, you met someone, dated, got engaged, married, THEN had sex, eventually had kids, raised your family and died. Badaboom, badabing.
There was to be no deviation from this plan. This is how it was supposed to be. Years ago it was a shame to get divorced and longstanding marriages were the “norm.” Today this trend is reversed except divorce has lost it’s stigma of failure.
At one time, I stated to my boys (as I’d heard all my life) they’d have to marry “a nice Catholic girl,” and teach their children our religion. When my husband and I were starting to get “serious,” religion was one of the first questions we asked.
“What religion are you?” We both breathed a sigh of relief when ours matched.
Happily, I’ve stopped saying that a long time ago. I don’t expect my children to get married if they don’t want to. Making a commitment should involve desire and heart between the individuals involved.
I think part of the reason behind separation and divorce stems from our ego’s lack of patience. Rather than waiting out a storm, forgiving or seeking out the assistance of a professional – it’s easier to call it quits and start over with someone new. Personally, I question why I’d leave my life to begin again with someone else only to find myself in the same situation later. We enjoy those “new” feelings of elation at the start of a relationship, but those are only hormonal rushes which will inevitably wear off leaving you feeling dissatisfied once more.
As I said, I once shared the beliefs of my foremothers. I’m not sure when it changed, but somewhere along the lines I realized there were other options. (I’m becoming more unconventional as I age.) I’m not against marriage, I’m against having it and anything else being forced upon us. I’m against a mindless, lemming mentality in which we follow without question.
Now, having said all this, doesn’t change a thing in my life. I’m happy and comfortable. For us, what works is growing together and yet still having the freedom to dance to the beat of our own drums.
Peace
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
My First Blog
Good morning, afternoon or evening . . . depending upon the time of day when you’ve chosen to peruse my blogging space. I’m glad you’re here because I’m about to share my very first blog with you!
By way of introduction, I’d like to begin my blogging life by introducing myself a little better. As I mentioned in the “About Me” section of this space, I’ve been a columnist for nearly fifteen years. My column, “Just A Minute” is found in The Carillon, a newspaper out of Steinbach, Manitoba, Canada. http://www.thecarillon.com/
When I first began “Just A Minute” I saw it as a way for me (a stay home mom) to maintain my grasp on sanity. If you’ve ever kept a conversation going with someone who called your home by mistake – you’ll know what I mean!
I’ve always believed that if I could make a person smile when they were having a really rough day, or at least reassure them they weren’t alone in their experiences -- then I’d fulfilled my purpose. In fifteen years, this hasn’t changed!
While “Just A Minute” is family oriented, in my career I have touched upon a wide variety of subjects, some of which weren’t exactly embraced by the Bible Belt community in which the column is published. For example, I received “hate mail” because I once wrote a column and spoke about the Zodiac! The incident provided me with a better understanding of the boundaries in which I was to create. However, I’ve never been a conventional thinker – I’ve always held beliefs which were different and until I hit my mid- thirties, I kept them to myself for fear of rejection, judgement or personal confusion. No more!
So, as I put this first blog to the side, consider yourself warned . . . being the paradox that I am, I intend to be provocative and enlightening.
“Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night." Bette Davis, All About Eve
Peace
By way of introduction, I’d like to begin my blogging life by introducing myself a little better. As I mentioned in the “About Me” section of this space, I’ve been a columnist for nearly fifteen years. My column, “Just A Minute” is found in The Carillon, a newspaper out of Steinbach, Manitoba, Canada. http://www.thecarillon.com/
When I first began “Just A Minute” I saw it as a way for me (a stay home mom) to maintain my grasp on sanity. If you’ve ever kept a conversation going with someone who called your home by mistake – you’ll know what I mean!
I’ve always believed that if I could make a person smile when they were having a really rough day, or at least reassure them they weren’t alone in their experiences -- then I’d fulfilled my purpose. In fifteen years, this hasn’t changed!
While “Just A Minute” is family oriented, in my career I have touched upon a wide variety of subjects, some of which weren’t exactly embraced by the Bible Belt community in which the column is published. For example, I received “hate mail” because I once wrote a column and spoke about the Zodiac! The incident provided me with a better understanding of the boundaries in which I was to create. However, I’ve never been a conventional thinker – I’ve always held beliefs which were different and until I hit my mid- thirties, I kept them to myself for fear of rejection, judgement or personal confusion. No more!
So, as I put this first blog to the side, consider yourself warned . . . being the paradox that I am, I intend to be provocative and enlightening.
“Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night." Bette Davis, All About Eve
Peace
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